what the hell DO I want? (dating edition)

I've been single for a little over a year now. A big part of the reason I chose to end my six year relationship was that I felt I had lost touch with just who the hell I am. In the past year I feel like I have effectively figured that out. Now, after a year on my own, I feel like I'm ready for something. Something. But what exactly?

Dating after a long term relationship is weird and confusing and I still haven't figured it out. My love life over the past year has consisted of: drunk hook-ups, one night stands, and a couple trysts that have lasted more than one night (literally, like three). Oh, a whole lot of awkward/terrible OKCupid dates (which are the worst). I've had more than one guy I've been interested in say to me that he is just not looking for a relationship right now. To which I replied, "Cool, thanks for not wasting anymore of my time." Not that I'm desperately looking for a relationship or anything.

I'm actually more confident in my worth as a human being and more aware of what I have to offer to the world more now that I've ever been before. So that's not my problem. I strongly feel that if someone rejects me it's more likely their loss. I have a joke that basically asks whether certain things I do mean that I'm happier now or just desperately lonely. I think maybe both are true.

The only thing I'm missing in my life right now is gainful employment (and a man, I guess). I have amazing friends and I love where I live. I know (roughly) what I want in a job. So, what the hell do I want in terms of relationships and dating?


Basically: It would be nice to have someone I could call my boyfriend, but all I really want is someone to hang out with/ make out with on a somewhat regular basis. Someone who's nice to me, pays attention, returns phone calls and texts, makes me laugh, and tattoos are also nice. Fairly simple. Preferably this person would be someone I know/meet in real life and not a weird Internet person (I'm probably going to disable my OKC account again soon, it's been nothing but disappointments there). 


Seriously, why is it so hard to find a guy who wants to make out with me more than once?