Why I don't want to work at camp this summer

The only job prospect I have on my horizons is summer camp. At first I was like, "Oh cool, a job. Maybe I can keep paying my rent," but then I was like, "But this doesn't start until July... what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" And as the weeks since my initial interview have progressed I've found more and more reasons why I DO NOT want to work at camp. They just emailed me an agreement to sign ensuring my committment to a torturous summer of strenuous work for very little money and Idon'twannadoit. Here are some reasons (I'm into lists lately):

1. It's going to be HOT this summer and I don't function well when it's hot

2. I have to be basically across town at 8am (7:30am for weekly staff meetings). How the fuck?

3. I need to have a form filled out by "my physician." I don't have a physician. What do I look like, an employed person? Someone who lives with their parents?

4. How am I supposed to pay my rent/bills in May and June? How am I supposed to work a 2nd job when  have to work full time at camp for one mere month? How is this a reasonable deal for anyone who doesn't live with their parents?

5. I am getting too damn old for this. Can I please just sit in an air conditioned office all summer?

I'll basically work anywhere to avoid this misery but if nothing comes through soon I am doomed because I need to work somewhere. 

Things I've been doing since finishing grad school

It's been around three months since I finished grad school and I honestly have not been doing much with my time. The longer I go without steady employment the less motivated I am to do stuff, too, which is helpful. But in case you were wondering what I've been up to (you haven't- who's even reading this?) here's a list:

- updating a website for money (not taking into account that the more time I spend on it the more money I get)
- volunteering to help kids become better writers and leading a humor writing workshop for 10-12-year-olds
- karaoke/ drinking
- stand up comedy/ drinking
- working twice a week at an after school program/ not making enough money
- sending out resumes, getting rejected by potential employers
- getting discouraged about it
- making found poetry with my rejection letters
- trying to come up with creative ways to make money (not trying very hard)
- sitting in the park on nice days
- staying in on less nice days so I don't spend money
- applying for food stamps (soon)/ wondering if my Ivy League degree disqualifies me from this
- spending too much time on facebook
- spending at least an hour sitting at my computer in my pajamas every morning (afternoon, really) doing nothing productive
- showering/ washing my hair less and less frequently